I remember the Indian statue at the gate of
the village. I remember the shallow stream, so clear that I could see my
reflection clearly. I remember the zelkova tree beside the stream, and the
thick bushes too. I remember me catching minnows on the stream, hours after
hours, and the calling sounds of frogs at night. I remember the small
fireplace, right outside the small, worn-down house where my family sat
together, talking all night. I remember the mold-smelling pillows and malfunctioning
refrigerator. I remember the hikes our family did, and foot volleyball which I
played with my brothers. The place, all gone.
Will
the memory last long, in a situation where all things related to that memory
are gone? Ever since you were 8 years old, every summer your family visits a
house located near Jiri mountain. The house belongs to your grandmother’s
relative. The place is calm, perfectly silent except the continuous sound of
stream flowing and the birds singing, interrupted occasionally by bypassing cars
on the nearby road. The stream you see is a bit wide, but never deep, only
about 30cm. You can see numerous fish, freshwater insects, and some birds come
to the stream to drink water. In some years, your family stays for one day, but
most of the time few days more. The house is very small, and everything is a
bit malfunctioning. Hot water doesn’t come out, the tiles are broken, some
lights don’t turn, and everywhere is mold small, but you don’t mind. You’re
juse purely focused on playing in the stream with your brothers. We shoot water
guns at each other, poured water with a bucket, and the favorite part for you
is observing fish. By simply wearing your swimming goggles and holding your breath,
you can see numerous fish swimming up and down the stream, usually silvery
color but sometimes strikingly brown-orange color too. You catch aquatic snails
a lot, clinging to a rock. After playing for few hours, your family would have
lunch or dinner, which all members gathered and talking cheerfully. You feel
that this place is the ‘secret place’ which nobody knows, and enjoys the beauty
of the place.
Maybe
it was my misperception. One year, when our family re-visited the place, there
was a dramatic change. Construction trucks and bulldozers were done cleaning up
the place approximately 10m apart from the house. My uncle asked the guys at
the site what was going on, and the guys said that they bought the land near
our house, and they’re building a camping ground to gain money. When I reached
the stream, I was sad and also angry, because the guys which bought the land
made an artificial concrete-dam o create a swimming pool for the campers. The
dam changed the waterflow all over, and some part of the stream was completely
dried. As expected, all the frogs and fish were gone. The place I always remembered
was a quiet, natural place which influenced me, but the place now was almost
equivalent to city-streams. Maybe I was affected by it a lot, since I dreamed
of the place several times even after a few years had passed. Although I don’t
remember the place in daytime, maybe I was thinking of that place in my inner
mind.
If
the place was about the same as before, I would have visited there every year,
but after the construction of the camping ground, I don’t visit the place. I simply
didn’t want to see a healthy stream changing to unhealthy stream, quiet to
noisy, natural to artificial. Even though I was at young age, even though I was
thinking in a self-centered way, I become pretty sad if I recall that memory.
Memories of the good childhood, memories that can only be recalled inside of my
mind, memories which contain elements which doesn’t exist now.
I
felt that the thing which I loved, could be gone and only be recalled by memories.
Therefore, I started to enjoy the present state and try to make my life
remarkable and easy to remember. Because I know that present things, will all
become memory in the future.
