"Araby" by James Joyce

 From a distance, James Joyce’s "Araby" might appear as a story showing a failure of love. The narrator of the story is ‘I’, whose name is not presented within the passage. ‘I’ have a crush on his friend’s older sister, and he suffers from the emotion of love. When he gets an opportunity to appeal to her by going to the Araby bazaar and buying her something, he really looks forward to it and anticipates very much. But, after arriving at the bazaar and realizing that the bazaar is not like a ideal place which he thought, the narrator feels epiphany, which he realizes that his love isn’t ideal.

 After all, when the nameless narrator depicts his behavior and emotions throughout the story, it helps the reader to dive deeper and empathize with the main character. The main character is a young boy, which he looks the world in his sense, as depicted in the fourth paragraph. He also uses allusion to explain his feelings of love, thinking like “my body was like a harp and her words and gestures were like fingers running upon the wires.” This shows that he feels love in a very pure and emotional way, believing love as a divine thing, which is separated with the ordinary world. The depiction of the complex emotions of childish love, and an anxiety toward it is shown well during the passage.

 However, on the other hand, not only his emotions and behaviors but also the depiction of the objects throughout the story shows the narrator’s emotions too. As shown in “but the porters moved them back, saying that it was a special train for the bazaar.” or “In front of me was a large building which displayed the magical name.”, narrator’s expectations for the bazaar and the hope of buying something which can appeal to Mangan’s sister is alluded in his words. Also, when the dissatisfaction of the bazaar and his childish love is felt by the narrator, the background is said as “The upper part of the hall was now completely dark.” , which I think collaborates well with the current emotion of the narrator.

 Therefore, it is perhaps more accurate to assume that "Araby" isn’t a simple short story, but a story which contains various allusions. Most of the materials shown in the story has its own meaning, (such as the ‘spike’ which Mangan’s sister holds) which resembles Chekov’s Gun. During the course of the passage, it is shown that the narrator, although being in similar age with his friends, is more mentally grown. Sentences like “Her brother and two other boys were fighting for their caps, and I was alone at the railings.” shows that the narrator had exited the child stage, and feels love as he goes into puberty.

I think this story is better than ‘the student’ because this story is easy to empathize, since most of us have the situation which we had first felt love in elementary school or in middle schools.

"The lady with the dog" by Anton Chekhov

 From a distance, Anton Chekhov’s "The lady with the dog" might appear as simple story which the characters cheat against their spouses. But although the content of the story isn’t much educating, I think that the description of the emotional elements is outstanding. Not just focusing on the ‘love’ itself, the story shows the background of their feeling of love, and their conflicting moments when the internal intent, love, is restricted by outside factors, such as distance or the people around them.

 After all, when the nameless narrator describes the female character as ‘The Lady with the dog’, he may want to provide the character some mystic aspect. But as Gurov’s feeling toward the character changes throughout the story, as he engages with her, her name within the story changes to ‘Anna’, which shows the intimacy between them.

At the first part of the story, the relationship between Gurov and the lady seemed to be a transitory, since the place of their meeting, Yalta, was their temporary place to stay. But as story progresses, the temporal attraction to each other developed into the feeling of love.

 Gurov constantly checks if someone is around them when they are kissing at ---, but when he later meets Anna again at the theater, he ignores the presence of observers(students) and kisses Anna.  This means that at first Gurov’s feelings were somehow shallow, not wanting to be exposed to others. But as their love progresses, Gurov starts to take risks like the incident described above, and planning a new life with Anna.

 The story is open-ended, as Gurov and the Anna starts to discuss about their future plans. At this state, Gurov is feeling exhausted about his family and his wife, and Anna is feeling miserable about her life with her husband. Although they are married, and in case of Gurov, have children, they are both not satisfied to their life. So, they are both in pursuit of finding more satisfying person instead of their partners. I think this is the reason for Gurov and Anna to be attracted to each other so quickly, only a week after they had made their first acquaintance.

“The student” by Anton Chekhov

 This is the shortest short story I’ve ever read. In the story, Ivan Velikopolski, a student and the son of the priest goes through the harsh winter weather and visits the widow’s garden, where two widows live in. While first woman, Vasilisa, is a bit talkative, the second woman Lukerya sits still and frowns. And then Ivan tells them the story of Peter and the denial of the Jesus, which makes Vasilisa cry and Lukerya frowns. And then Ivan heads home filled with happy feelings.

 The story is a bit awkward at the first glance, since the story ends with no apparent conclusion. Also, the correlation between the characters aren’t mentioned specifically in the text, so we have to guess the stories.

 For example, what was the reason Vasilisa cried when she heard Ivan’s story? I think the Peter and ‘denial’ of the Jesus have somehow touched Vasilisa’s emotions, and it can be inferred that maybe, the memory related to her husband made her cry. Although the story how the two women got widowed isn’t mentioned in the passage, maybe there was some kind of ‘denial’ or ‘dissatisfaction’ related to Vasilisa’s lost husband.

 In the story, there is a story within a story, which is the story of Jesus. Although the story doesn’t seem to have a coherence with the overall story (dissociation between cold Russian winter and Jesus’s suffering?), the story acts as a main factor which makes the emotional change within the characters. This emotional change is depicted in the weather’s change, which at first Ivan feels the weather “cold that had suddenly come on had destroyed the order and harmony of things”, but in the end he thinks the weather condition as “ cold crimson sunset (….)without interruption to this day”.

 The word ‘east’ appears on the first paragraph and in the last paragraph, the word ‘west’ appears. I think this means something related to the opening and termination of the overall story, since the word ‘west’ means ‘death’ in some circumstances.

The place which only exists within my memory

 I remember the Indian statue at the gate of the village. I remember the shallow stream, so clear that I could see my reflection clearly. I remember the zelkova tree beside the stream, and the thick bushes too. I remember me catching minnows on the stream, hours after hours, and the calling sounds of frogs at night. I remember the small fireplace, right outside the small, worn-down house where my family sat together, talking all night. I remember the mold-smelling pillows and malfunctioning refrigerator. I remember the hikes our family did, and foot volleyball which I played with my brothers. The place, all gone.

 Will the memory last long, in a situation where all things related to that memory are gone? Ever since you were 8 years old, every summer your family visits a house located near Jiri mountain. The house belongs to your grandmother’s relative. The place is calm, perfectly silent except the continuous sound of stream flowing and the birds singing, interrupted occasionally by bypassing cars on the nearby road. The stream you see is a bit wide, but never deep, only about 30cm. You can see numerous fish, freshwater insects, and some birds come to the stream to drink water. In some years, your family stays for one day, but most of the time few days more. The house is very small, and everything is a bit malfunctioning. Hot water doesn’t come out, the tiles are broken, some lights don’t turn, and everywhere is mold small, but you don’t mind. You’re juse purely focused on playing in the stream with your brothers. We shoot water guns at each other, poured water with a bucket, and the favorite part for you is observing fish. By simply wearing your swimming goggles and holding your breath, you can see numerous fish swimming up and down the stream, usually silvery color but sometimes strikingly brown-orange color too. You catch aquatic snails a lot, clinging to a rock. After playing for few hours, your family would have lunch or dinner, which all members gathered and talking cheerfully. You feel that this place is the ‘secret place’ which nobody knows, and enjoys the beauty of the place.

 Maybe it was my misperception. One year, when our family re-visited the place, there was a dramatic change. Construction trucks and bulldozers were done cleaning up the place approximately 10m apart from the house. My uncle asked the guys at the site what was going on, and the guys said that they bought the land near our house, and they’re building a camping ground to gain money. When I reached the stream, I was sad and also angry, because the guys which bought the land made an artificial concrete-dam o create a swimming pool for the campers. The dam changed the waterflow all over, and some part of the stream was completely dried. As expected, all the frogs and fish were gone. The place I always remembered was a quiet, natural place which influenced me, but the place now was almost equivalent to city-streams. Maybe I was affected by it a lot, since I dreamed of the place several times even after a few years had passed. Although I don’t remember the place in daytime, maybe I was thinking of that place in my inner mind.

 If the place was about the same as before, I would have visited there every year, but after the construction of the camping ground, I don’t visit the place. I simply didn’t want to see a healthy stream changing to unhealthy stream, quiet to noisy, natural to artificial. Even though I was at young age, even though I was thinking in a self-centered way, I become pretty sad if I recall that memory. Memories of the good childhood, memories that can only be recalled inside of my mind, memories which contain elements which doesn’t exist now.

 I felt that the thing which I loved, could be gone and only be recalled by memories. Therefore, I started to enjoy the present state and try to make my life remarkable and easy to remember. Because I know that present things, will all become memory in the future.

My thoughts on the movie 'The empire of the sun'

 After watching a part of the movie ‘The empire of the sun’, I thought that the surrounding environment can change the people’s living style, but it’s difficult to change the fundamental element of one person. Jamie, which is a wealthy British boy, lives in China during Sino-Japanese war. He’s family is very rich and in high social class, which is easily noticed by the number of servants, the size of the house, and the culture they enjoy.

 In the first part of the movie, there is a scene which Jamie’s family rides a car through the Chinese crowd. Jamie’s family is dressed in a Halloween uniform and rides a fancy car, which the driver and other servants make the way. But, outside the car, the Chinese people are dressed in filthy clothes and sells foods and other miscellaneous product in a dirty street. The window of the car is the only thing which segregates them physically, but it’s the thing which allows two groups of people to see each other. In this scene it’s easy to notice that the ‘high class’ people and ‘low class’ people are segregated, therefore not easy to understand or experience other group’s lifestyle.

 When the war breaks out, the high class people at the hotel starts to run away from the Japanese soldiers. One funny thing is that the high class people are calling out for taxi, even though there is no taxi and the Japanese soldiers are marching. So, it’s possible to know that the high class people were too segregated from the normal people, and they do not realize the reality. Jamie is basically the same with these kind of high class people in the first part, so he talks and acts in that way, not realizing the reality. So he is put into various incidents and eventually imprisoned in a warehouse along with other westerners.

 But, Jamie tries to go with the leaving truck, which ahead for the concentration camp. After few months of concentration camp experience, Jamie’s mind drastically changes in order that his high-class mind and behavior changes into a opportunistic characteristic which is beneficial in the concentration camp. Even though he is in such camp, his passion for the plane still remains.

 After watching until this part of the movie, my emotion for Jamie changed. Actually in the first part of the movie, I was pretty much annoyed by Jamie’s selfish and rude behaviors. But as timeline goes on and Jamie adapts the current situation and lives well, although he is in a poor-living place, the concentration camp. Although he doesn’t realize the hard situation fully, this feature gives the movie a bright image. Most of the times, the concentration camp is shown as a dreadful place, but due to Jamie’s pure and immature mind and behavior, he can make his own life in the camp more lively. This resembles me of the case of ‘girl scouts’ in the same war(but in real case), which made their life in concentration camp cheerful.  

To future Wonwoong Kim

To Wonwoong Kim.

This is Wonwoong Kim from Nov. 14, 2019 in KMLA. You’ll remember that in KMLA, due to school counseling office, we have to write similar letters each year. At the beginning of this year, I got a letter which I wrote to myself and totally forgot, the letter which I wrote in freshmen orientation period. I was surprised to read the letter, because I could realize that I have changed a lot, compared to last year. In the 2018 letter, I was considering to move to KMLA international field-I was domestic at that time. Because memory easily fades away, recording my current(Fall 2019) status in this letter will help you recall this period, and it will be easier for you to realize that you had developed through 2020. So I will just write what I have experienced within two weeks, and what I’m doing now.

Okay. I am sitting in Mr. Garrioch’s English composition class writing this letter. I haven’t finished most of the standard test such as SAT, SAT2, APs, TOEFL etc. I am going through hard time, which I made some mistake which made me run office to office, make calls and e-mails, and apologize to teachers. I hope this event to make myself into more better person.

I am currently translating iNaturalist.org into Korean, and have 5,052 observation and 1,564 species recorded in iNat server so far. I wonder how much progress you have made in 2020. Last week I participated in DMZ forum&Youth Ecology paper contest, and got 2nd prize. Not started AMES project yet, but I am preparing for that. 2 days ago, result of National Science Fair came out, but the result was unsatisfying. Although my friend and I had worked very, very hard on that project, the scoring people at the science fair didn’t thought that our project matched their desire. I want to participate in Youth presentation part of Entomological Society of Korea next year very much, because (1) I want to get satisfying results (2) I missed ESK this year and I want to be immersed in that scholastic mood again (3) It’s the place which people truly understands my ability.

It’s very cold now, temperature dropping below -5’c today. We had KSAT cheering event today morning. KMLA music concert will be held in two days. Morning exercise will be finished in 2 weeks, and I am wondering whether you went to Kumdo morning exercise in senior year too. What does it feel to be senior year? I see lots of international seniors these days(because domestic students are all in KSATs), and it’s odd that you, which is reading this, is also like one of them.

Winter eventually came, and I am hoping to find some snowflies(Chionea sp.) to study during the winter. Also, I am hoping to go to Sokcho this December to watch some winter migratory birds. I would have to go to DMZ this December too, to monitor winter migratory birds.

I wonder what countries and what universities are you applying to. I’m pretty sure that you had applied to most of Ecology &Evolutionary biology departments. I want to say that I value the decisions you have made, and be satisfied about what you’ve done. But, never be totally satisfied of yourself because it will lead to conceit and harm yourself eventually.

Don’t be afraid. Wish you good luck

When sympathy becomes a killer

 Today was Hanguelnal(Korean alphabet day), so there was no school class, but instead students had to participate in Korean literature composition event which was lead by Korean language teachers.

 I definitely knew that it was impossible for me to get awarded in this composition thingy, because I don't have much literal sense, crucial for composing poems and novels. So one of my friend and I decided to write the poem (in low quality) quickly, and enjoy the free time. After 30 minutes of writing the poem, we went outside of Dasan building(one of our school building) chatting, and my friend suggested about going in the empty water fountain pit. Because there was no students around, and I wanted to go in the fountain pit, so i jumped in.

 Beside of leaf litter, there was a katydid(Female of  Hexacentrus japonicus) at the bottom. I assume that it had fallen in in some circumstances, and couldn't climb out. So I decided to catch the katydid and let it free outside of the pit. I tried to catch it, but the katydid jumped away constantly. I used my shoes to block the katydid's direction and tried to catch its wings (Since katydids can bite people with its strong jaw, it is preferable to grab the katydid by its wings). Then, the katydid bit my shoe and clang to it. I grabbed the katydid's body, and tried to force it free, by shaking the body. Somehow I gave too much tension, and the katydid had clung to my shoe too tightly.

Its neck fell off.

It instantly fell to the ground trembling, and died.

 If I look at the incident in the katydid's perspective, it would have been horrifying. It's just like a giant suddenly appearing in front of you, having intention to catch you. You run away, but then a huge wall appears in front of you, so you cling to it as hard as you can, while the giant grabs and pulls you. Then, the giant gives a tremendous amount of force, and your spinal cord breaks. This is horrifying. This is terrible. But this is what the katydid had felt during the process.

  I was totally shocked. I don't like to kill other organisms intentionally, but realizing that I had "KILLED" the bug with my own force made me feel complicated. I originally tried to help the katydid. I wanted the katydid to live a longer life and be free again. But I killed it. Trying to justify my killing, I thought that I had done a good job to the katydid. If it wasn't me, it would have suffered for days starving, eventually dying. If I succeeded, then it will enjoy free life again, but I thought that killing it instantly also makes it free from the upcoming slow-painful death.

 But, is my act justifiable? If the intention "was" sympathetic but it leads to severe damage, is it a good act or bad act? I thought of this for some time, but haven't got the proper conclusion yet.  I just feel sorry for that katydid.